Sunday, September 6, 2009

Shawne Merriman: Unsung Hero

Shawne Merriman (allegedly) did the world a favor and choked out Tila Tequila. John Wayne can roll through town, kill everyone in it, and leave a hero, but Shawne Merriman is some kind of asshole? I don't like it. They should erect a statue of this incident on Maryland's campus next to Jim Henson.

Let's look at the resume:

Went to Maryland, so nobody really cared
Took steroids, but it's not baseball so nobody cared
Out for the entire 2008 season with a knee injury, but then Brady went down
Choked out Tila Tequila, but Michael Vick killed a few dogs

Shawne Merriman, you are the Van Gough of Line Backers. This world was not meant for someone as beautiful as you.


  1. What? You're gay for Merriman. He is pointing around the corner where he wants to meet you to fuck you in the ass.