Thursday, July 30, 2009
Before we get started on the O's Recap, I just want to address the trade that took place a few hours ago. George Sherrill was traded to the Dodgers for 3B prospect Josh Bell and LHP Steve Johnson. It is sad to see Sherrill go, as he has been a great closer for the O's for over a year and a half now and I really enjoy the way he wears his flat brimmed cap and calls himself the Brim Reaper.
With that being said, I'm sure Sherrill will be happy to play for a winning team, and it is no secret that the O's are building for the future. With this trade, we were able to move a player at his peak in order to continue our quest to replenish our farm system.
I have a feeling that Steve Johnson will turn out to be just a run of the mill bullpen guy in the majors, but I have a good feeling about Josh Bell. He has exhibited good power in the minors and he looks to be the eventual replacement at third base for Melvin Mora. His only knock is his weak defensive play, but hopefully he can straighten that out and contribute for the big league club for years to come.
Now without further ado, here is your recap:
In a series that no one cared about (including most people in Baltimore and Kansas City), the Orioles and Royals proved that they are equally horrible by winning 2 games apiece.
Monday was the Billy Butler show. Butler went 5/5 with 3 RBIs to lead the Royals to a 5-3 victory. Rich Hill lasted only 2 1/3 innings while giving up 3 runs, all but ending his opportunity to remain in the O's starting rotation this season (he is now on the DL).
The BWP Clipped Wing Award winner for this game is... Rich Hill!
I hate to do it, but he deserves it. His continual short outings put pressure on the bullpen, and leave all of the other pitchers tired for other games. This puts him in the lead in the CWA standings. Damn you Rich! So senseless!
On Tuesday, the O's wasted a rare good outing by Jason Berken (2 ER in 6 innings) as they lost 4-3 in 11 innings. The O's were up 3-2 going into the 8th inning until Jim Johnson gave up a solo home run to Willie Bloomquist (8 career home runs in 7 full MLB seasons coming into the game). Danys Baez gave up a run in the 11th to close out the collapse. Matt Wieters had his first career 4 hit game in the loss.
The BWP Clipped Wing Award winner for this game is... Nick Markakis!
Markakis went 0/4 with 1 strike out while leaving 5 men on base. Not the finest game from Nick.
On Wednesday, Chris Tillman made his long awaited MLB debut and his nerves seemed to get the best of him. Tillman gave up 3 runs (all solo HRs) in 4 2/3 innings and did not recieve a decision as the O's won 7-3. Tillman has great stuff, but he left a few pitches up and they were absolutely crushed by the Royals. It will be fun to see how he matures over the rest of the season. Adam Jones had a home run and 3 RBIs, and Nick Markakis also had 3 RBIs to lead the O's offense.
Today, Brad Bergesen shut down the Royals to earn a 7-3 victory. Bergesen pitched 7 strong innings, giving up 1 earned run and striking out 6 before he was forced to leave the game after a line drive struck him in the knee (x-rays were negative). Ty Wigginton homered for the O's and Aubrey Huff continued to heat up, driving in 3 runs.
Tomorrow the O's open a weekend series against the David Ortiz steroid crew. Hopefully we don't get embarrassed.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
On Friday, Brad Bergesen pitched well, giving up 3 runs in 6 innings, but the offense was pitched into submission by Brad Penny (he isn't good, but neither are the O's) as they lost 3-1. It is getting really old watching Bergesen pitch his heart out as his offense continually lets him down. We suck.
The BWP Clipped Wing Award winner for this game is... Luke Scott!
Scott went 0/4 with a strike out, while leaving 6 runners on base.
On Saturday, Jeremy Guthrie pitched like a little punk, giving up 5 runs in 6 2/3 innings as the O's lost 7-2. Red Sox pitcher Jon Lester mowed down the O's hitters, striking out 9 in 7 1/3 innings.
The BWP Clipped Wing Award winner for this game is... Jeremy Guthrie!
On Sunday, the O's won! I was starting to forget what it felt like. David Hernandez pitched a gem, allowing only 1 earned run in 7 innings as the O's won 6-2. Nick Markakis led the O's offense going 2/4 with a home run and 3 RBIs.
The O's opened a 4 game series against the Royals tonight. They are currently losing 5-3 and it looks like Rich Hill is poised to take the lead in the CWA standings. I'll have another update when I get a chance. Orioles Magic!
The O's had a miserable showing against the Yankees early last week. If you were fortunate enough to be doing something else while these games were going on, here's what you missed (hint: not much):
On Monday, the O's wasted a great pitching performance by David Hernandez (6 IP, 1 ER, 3 H, 4 Ks) as Andy Pettitte used his pitching wizardry to hold the O's to 1 run in 7 1/3 innings. As a team, the Orioles left 16 runners on base and this eventually caught up to them, as Hideki Matsui hit a walk off homer off of Jim Johnson in the 9th inning, giving the Yanks a 2-1 victory.
The BWP Clipped Wing Award winner for this game is... Cesar Izturis!
Izturis went 1/3 with 2 strike outs, while leaving 3 men on base.
On Tuesday, the O's outhit the Yankees nine to six, but still lost 6-4, as Rich Hill pitched miserably again, giving up 5 runs in 3 innings. Melvin Mora led the O's with 2 RBIs.
The BWP Clipped Wing Award winner for this game is... Rich Hill!
On Wednesday, the Orioles starting pitching failed them again as Jason Berken gave up 5 earned in 6 innings. The O's surged late, scoring 2 runs in the 7th and 2 in the 9th, but it was too little too late as they were swept by the Yankees 6-4.
The BWP Clipped Wing Award winner for this game is... Jason Berken!
Stay tuned for a post recapping the Red Sox series.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
So one of our favorite blogs, the now-defunct Fire Joe Morgan, used to do this style better than everyone, because they'd find awful journalism and take it apart. I've always wanted to pick up where they left off at 30% of the quality.
And what better to dissect than this ridiculous column by Gregg Doyel, because everyone has something to say about Erin Andrews now. Even Blazing With Phelps dot Com!
You call yourself a man? Not while Erin out your fantasies onlineYou call yourself a columnist? Not while your headlines include gutwrenching puns.
You're out there. I just know it. You're reading this right now, aren't you, you stupid little boy?
Hello there, why are you so angry?
And you are a little boy.
Gregg Doyel is mad as hell, and he's not gonna take it any more!
I don't care how old you are -- you're not a man. Not if you're one of the thousands, probably hundreds of thousands, maybe millions, of American males slobbering over the Internet for images of ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews.
Stop finding attractive women attractive! Don't look at them! Stop it!
You're not a man.
Problem is, you're probably among my readers. Maybe even a regular reader.
No one knows who filmed Erin Andrews, but one thing is for sure: he reads Gregg Doyel. This much is fact.
Maybe I need you, and CBSSports.com needs you, and any sports website needs you, to survive.
Maybe I'd rather not survive.
That's right, if you look at internet porn, Gregg Doyel would rather be on the STREET than have your filthy pageviews. One second, my mother's basement is flooding with hypocricy and I believe it's going to kill me.
Hey, Gregg, your angry spewing argument is convincing enough so far, but can you reference an early-90s television show to really drive the point home?
You're why men have become such an easy target. You know that? You're the reason TV shows like The Simpsons and Family Guy and Married ... with Children make a mockery of the American male.
In commercials, the husband or father is almost always the comic relief. He's the slow-moving guy who misses out on the last Eggo waffle. Or the dimwit incapable of purchasing a CD on the Internet. Or the horny moron who walks into a plate-glass window when a pretty woman saunters past.
And this is because someone... filmed Erin Andrews through a peephole. Because... of commercials? Or Married with Children? So... yeah!
Because you're ... you.
Wait, I thought it was him! It's you! Couldn't be!! Then who?!
And there's a whole lot of you out there.
Fornicators and malcontents, the lot of ye!
I could pretend you don't know the latest Erin Andrews story, and dutifully lay out the background right now. But that would be ridiculous. Of course you know the latest Erin Andrews story. You're part of the story. Hell, you are the story.
Gregg stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
You're probably not the actual guy who drilled a hole into the wall of her hotel room and filmed her and then put it on the Internet.
No, so why are you yelling at me? Are you even a sports columnist? Why is this man so full of hate? Is he a friend of Erin Andrews?
But chances are, you're among the hundreds of thousands of guys who have searched the Internet for that video. Which means you're among the millions of American males who set this sick scenario into motion by congregating online at the altar of Erin Andrews Imagery. Objectification is yours!
Gregg Doyel has never found a woman attractive. I mean, it's not awesome that someone filmed her naked. And they're a bad person. But men the world over were curious. I don't think that makes them... bad people. Who should be disallowed from reading sports columns. Or whatever type of column this is.
And you're this country's next wave of husbands and fathers. Terrific.
Erin Andrews Peephole Video = Destruction of American familial structure
Honestly, I don't know why I'm even bothering.
I don't either. You could go back and erase this on your MS Word 2003 and not turn it in. Or... you could just do that. That's fine.
You don't, and you won't, see your problem. Addicts or idiots -- and you are very possibly both -- never do.
The best thing is that he's still addressing the reader of this column directly. I guess we're... addicts now? Because there's an Erin Andrews peephole video? And we're also going to destroy this country.
You think it's fine to scour the Internet for pictures of Erin Andrews and then find the nearest message board and type, "I'd hit it."
I'd hit you.
As if you'd have a chance at Erin Andrews.
You don't know her like I do though!! We were meant to be!!!
Or any attractive woman.
Seriously, why is this guy so upset?
See, the general rule of thumb is this: If you've ever uttered the words I'd hit it ... then you really wouldn't.
CBS Sports columnist Sigmundd Freudel, everyone.
Because you couldn't. Because you're a loser.
Fuck you, people whose visits I depend on for my livelihood! You didn't do anything wrong, but some creepy guy made a peephole video you saw, so fuck you! Fuck you!!
Ask the woman who works in the cubicle next to you. (First, take your eyes off her breasts.)
After typing this sentence, Gregg Doyel pulled out an electric guitar, plugged it into an amp, and wailed on it. The neighbors called in a noise complaint.
You're the guy who goes to strip clubs and shoves $1 bills into a stranger's g-string while she dances in your lap, and you're stupid enough to think you've scored.
Once again, this is directed to literally everyone that is reading this column.
Your capacity for self-delusion is exceeded only by your incapacity to attract an actual (free) woman. So you go to strip clubs or hire a prostitute or, if you're cheap, you congregate on the Internet and study YouTube videos of Erin Andrews. Look, loser -- there's her butt!
So you've seen the video, then?
But when something like this happens ... when there's a report of an actual video of Erin Andrews naked in her hotel room ...
Dramatic one-word paragraph.
The Internet goes nuts. According to Google Trends, which tracks web searches, the Erin Andrews hotel video was the single most-searched item on the Internet this weekend. The search peaked Monday morning at about 9:20 a.m. ET, which means guys along the East Coast reported to work and got down to serious business -- looking for this damn video.
Only working-age men looked at this video. No 10-16 year-old boys or anything. Or women. Just you, a scumbag at work looking for a cheap high. You probably did crack off of a stripper's ass afterwards and thought she was your girlfriend, didn't you, tough guy? Fuck you. You disgust Gregg Doyel.
Guess what was No. 2 on the Google Trends list? A search for someone called "Aaron Andrews." I'm not making that up.
People misspelled stuff too. So society... is in the shitter. He is NOT making this up.
And just missing the top 10 was the search for "Erin Anderson." I'm not making that up, either.
See? He's not fucking making it up!! WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY HE WAS MAKING THIS UP?!
So not only is the typical American male horny and hopeless -- he's stupid.
YOU said he was hopeless. YOU said that every single American male is a social retard that only gets gratification from this single video of a naked sideline reporter shot through a peephole, leading to the downfall of society.
But he's real. And apparently, since I'm an American male myself, he's ... me.
I... what? I think he's having a moment, guys. Was that like a self-revelation thing? ...Are we about to find out that this video was shot by... (gasp) GREGG DOYEL!!?!
Now you see why I'm so angry? Because you make me look bad. It's not like I know Erin Andrews, because I don't.
But then why are you so angry?
And it's not like I'm hoping she'll read this column, because she probably would prefer this whole thing to go away. The less said about it, the less focus on it, the better. That's probably her position, so my story is just one more log on the fire.
So just erase your Word document and write a different column. You don't have to write this. Don't write it. Don't send it in.
The maker of the video is trying to sell it, according to TMZ.com. On the message board below TMZ.com's story about its refusal to purchase the video, a typical American male whose screen name is "schlepptomaniac" wrote the following:
Saw the video...I'd piihb.
Oh god, not acronyms.
"Piihb" is shorthand I've never seen before, but I can guess what it means.
Something DISGUSTING and APPALLING and HATEFUL!!!
("Put it in ...")
When did the typical American male becomes such a sick freaking dumbass?
Great job, everyone, you made Gregg Doyel swear.
Meanwhile, this whole video thing has created a cottage industry unto itself. There's the video sales aspect, and the overheating search engines. And there's this: Makers of Internet viruses are capitalizing on the typical American male's desperate lust by attaching a computer virus to various "Erin Andrews video" search results.
The Erin Andrews video has destroyed:
Perception of the American man
People who don't like Married... with Children
You wanted to see Erin Andrews naked. Instead you caught a disease.
Viruses != diseases. Is there time for a dick joke?
I hope it rots and falls off.
Your hard drive, I mean.
I was hoping you meant your hands.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Anyways, the O's opened the 2nd half of the season against the Chicago White Sox on Friday, and Jim Thome tore the O's pitching to shreds. Thome hit 2 HRs while driving in 7 runs as the O's lost 12-8. The O's offense was productive, outhitting the Sox 14-13, but they were unable to overcome the piss poor pitching performances from Jason Berken and his crew of bullpen flunkies.
The BWP Clipped Wing Award for this game goes to... Jason Berken!
Berken pitched 4 1/3 innings, giving up 6 earned runs to raise his season ERA to 6.44. It's hard to imagine Berken lasting much longer in the O's rotation. Bring on Chris Tillman!
On Saturday, Brad Bergesen was cruising through 4 1/3 innings. With one out in the 5th, he got Alexei Ramirez to ground into what seemed to be a routine out, but Ty Wigginton (who was playing 1st base) inexplicably dropped the throw from Brian Roberts. After that, the wheels fell off for Bergesen and he gave up 4 runs in the 5th. Despite some 9th inning magic from Nolan Reimold and Brian Roberts, the O's fell short 4-3.
The BWP Clipped Wing Award for this game goes to... Ty Wigginton!
His retarded error in the 5th changed the momentum of the game. That is enough to earn him the award.
Yesterday, the O's avoided the sweep by spanking Jose Contreras and the Sox 10-2. Gregg Zaun (!!??) led the O's with 4 RBIs and Jeremy Guthrie threw a gem, pitching 8 innings while surrendering 2 runs on only 3 hits.
Tonight the O's open a series against the Yankees in New York. The O's season may be over as far as making the playoffs are concerned, but it's always nice to beat the Yanks. I'm not expecting much though.
Monday, July 13, 2009
The O's go into the All Star Break with a sterling 40-48 record and they remain dead last in the AL East, 14 games behind the Red Sox. But they're only 11 games back in the Wild Card! At this point, I'm just hoping we can finish somewhere near .500 and that our young pitchers show progress without blowing out their arms. Orioles magic.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Rich Hill pitched well for the O's, going 6 innings while giving up 2 earned runs. Luke Scott also homered for the O's, and Aubrey Huff and Matt Wieters each added an RBI.
Today, the O's go for the series win as they send Brad Bergesen to the mound to face Jays rookie Marc Rzepczynski. This is the last game before the All Star Break, so enjoy it O's fans.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Maryland native Brett Cecil made the O's look foolish, scattering 4 hits over 6 innings. Jason Berken did his best to keep up with Cecil, turning in his best outing since his lone victory in his MLB debut over the Jays in May. He gave up 2 runs in 5 2/3 innings, but it wasn't enough to get the win.
The BWP Clipped Wing Award winner for the game is... Cesar Izturis!
Izturis went 0/2 in his first game back from the DL but the big thing that earned him the CWA was his ground out with the bases loaded to end the 2nd inning. It killed all of the momentum the O's had built and they never really had another chance to score during the game.
Tonight the O's send Rich Hill to the mound in the second game of the series against the Blue Jays. Woo!
Friday, July 10, 2009
The above video is from some douche bag Seattle fan who taped the Mariners 12-4 loss to the O's on Tuesday. The video captures Dave Trembley's argument and ejection from the game after a horrible call by home plate umpire Tom Hallion.
Managers get ejected all the time, most of them doing worse things than what Trembley did, and they almost never receive suspensions or fines. So today, when I heard that Trembley had been suspended for 2 games and fined an undisclosed amount, I was baffled.
Apparently, Trembley violated a rule that states an ejected manager can play no further part in the game. The suspension seems fair then, right? Not so fast my friend.
Lets delve a little bit more into what happened. In the post game interview, Trembley claimed that when Luke Scott came back into the clubhouse during the game, Trembley told him, "get me a couple hits." Scott finished the game with 7 RBIs.
So let me get this straight. This is the "coaching" that has gotten Trembley suspended and cost him a chunk of his paycheck? What did Luke Scott gain from this encounter with Trembley in the locker room? Furthermore, in a 12-4 victory, does the coaching really affect the outcome anyways?
Bud Selig and his crew of flunkies continue to impress me with their stupidity.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Yesterday the O's bats came alive as they laid the smack down on the Seattle Mariners 12-4. Erik Bedard baffled the O's hitters for 4 innings, striking out 8, until he was removed from the game due to his weak injured arm being on a strict pitch count.
The O's hitters took this opportunity to jump all over the Mariners' bullpen, scoring 10 runs after Bedard exited. Luke Scott led the O's with a home run and 7 RBIs (7 RBIs!!!) and Mark Hendrickson (Mark Hendrickson!!!) pitched well in relief after Jeremy Guthrie left the game with a bleeding vagina.
William Shatner was ejected at the end of the 1st inning after arguing a bullshit call by homeplate umpire Tom Hallion. Nolan Reimold was rounding second base when the ball was thrown out of play. Instead of awarding Reimold home, Hallion made him stay at 3rd even after conferring with the other umpires. Hallion also blew another call later in the game on a bunt single by the Mariners. He is lucky (or unlucky depending on how you view the CWA) the O's won because he would have easily been the BWP Clipped Wing Award winner.
In today's game, the Orioles were ready to go quietly into the night, as they were down 3-0 entering the 9th inning, but the O's had a little magic up their sleeve. Actually, the O's were who the Mariners thought they were, but Jose Lopez let them off the hook.
With the help of a fielding error and a throwing error from Lopez, the O's scored 5 runs in the top of the 9th to win the game 5-3.
The O's have a day off tomorrow before opening up a 3 game series against the Blue Jays on Friday. It's time to make a push for the division lead!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
When I left for the Outer Banks last week I planned on making a concerted effort to steal the neighbor's wireless internet every night and continue to be the only writer for BWP. Unfortunately I made the decision to relax instead, so now it is time to update all 10 of the readers that decided to stick around, on the Clipped Wing Award standings and all of that fun stuff. I refuse to let BlazingWithPhelps die!
Sunday 6/28: The O's went for the sweep against the Washington Nationals. David Hernandez gave up 3 runs in 5 2/3 innings and the Nats added 2 runs against the O's bullpen as the O's lost 5-3.
The BWP Clipped Wing Award winner for the game is... Luke Scott!
Scott led the O's offense in futility as he went 1/4 while only seeing 9 pitches in his 4 at bats (I'm grasping at straws on this one, all of the hitters sucked).
Monday 6/29: The O's opened up a series against the Red Sox and Jon Lester shut down the O's batters, pitching 7 scoreless innings while striking out 8. Jason Berken gave up 4 runs in 5 innings and the O's only managed 6 hits against Lester as they lost 4-0.
The BWP Clipped Win Award winner for the game is... Brian Roberts!
Roberts went 0/4, striking out once and going 0/1 with runners in scoring position.
Tuesday 6/30: A date that will live in O's infamy and a game that will be the subject of multiple MASN Orioles Defining Moments. Entering the bottom half of the 7th inning, the O's were down 10-1 and I had already thrown the television remote in frustration and jumped off of the top deck of the beach house. When suddenly, a text from former BWP writer, John, brought me back to life.
He was attending the game (he is a Red Sox fan and a homosexual) and he made me aware that the O's were making a minor comeback. I didn't expect much but I decided to turn the game back on just in case. What happened next was a miracle.
The O's scored 5 runs in the bottom of the 7th and 5 runs in the bottom of the 8th to take an 11-10 lead. George Sherrill pitched a scoreless 9th inning to earn his 17th save. My explanation can not do the comeback justice, so I'm not going to try. But take my word for it; it was exciting.
Wednesday 7/1: In true Orioles fashion, the O's took all of the momentum and excitement from the previous days game, and threw it right out the window. Up 5-1 entering the 9th inning, after a dominating 8 inning performance from Brad Bergesen, the O's needed only 3 outs to take the series from the Red Sox.
Jim Johnson gave up a lead off walk and then Kevin Youkilis bombed a home run into the right field bleachers to start off the 9th cutting the lead 5-3. George Sherrill came in to stop the bleeding, striking out the first 2 batters he faced. Sherrill followed this up by walking the next 3 batters. Pinch hitter Rocco Baldelli then hit a 2 run single, tying the game. The O's went on to lose in extra innings. Yuck.
The BWP Clipped Wing Award winner for this game is... George Sherrill!
Thursday 7/2: The O's opened up a 4 game series against the Angels in spectacular fashion by losing 5-2. John Lackey held the O's to 4 hits in 8 innings as the top 3 batters in the O's lineup went 0/12 combined and Bobby Abreu hit 2 HRs for the Angels.
The BWP Clipped Wing Award winner for this game is... Jeremy Guthrie!
Guthrie gave up 5 earned runs in 7 innings and he added a throwing error to seal his CWA fate.
Friday 7/3: David Hernandez pitched a great game, and the O's knocked around Ervin Santana en route to a 6-4 victory. Hernandez gave up 3 earned runs in 6 2/3 innings and Aubrey Huff led the O's hitters with a HR and 3 RBIs.
Saturday 7/4: Happy 4th of July BWP readers! The O's suck! They hung around in this game until they gave up 6 runs in the 8th inning and lost 11-4. The O's were credited with 2 errors and had several other lapses in judgement and talent that contributed to their late game collapse.
The BWP Clipped Wing Award winner for this game is... Brian Bass!
He gave up all 6 of the runs in the 8th inning. That should do it.
Sunday 7/5: The Orioles jumped out to a 4-0 lead only to see golden boy Rich Hill blow it by giving up 6 runs in 5 1/3 innings as the O's ended up losing 9-6.
The BWP Clipped Wing Award winner for this game is... Rich Hill!
DAMN YOU RICH HILL! STOP MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A DAMN FOOL!
Monday 7/6: The Orioles would have been more productive if they would have forfeited yesterday's game and spent the day taking extra batting practice. Jarrod Washburn made them look foolish as the O's (Nick Markakis) were only able to muster 1 hit throughout the whole game. The O's are now 2-9 on the West Coast this season (blame the jet lag).
The BWP Clipped Wing Award for this game is... Brian Roberts!
He was the only O's batter with 4 at bats and he went 0/4 so he wins by default. Yayyy Brian!
So there you have it. The O's seem to have also gone on vacation for the 4th of July holiday. I've placed a call to China asking them to mass produce more Clipped Wing Award trophies in anticipation for the large amount of O's losing in the second half of the season.