Tuesday, May 19, 2009

You Aren't a Facebook Model, So Stop Fucking Posing!

I've started to notice a trend at parties, facebook, through my binoculars across the street from a slumber party, etc. that more and more girls are posing for pictures like they are modeling for Vogue. I think you all know what I'm talking about; that stupid shot where the bitch with the dress on so short that it makes her fallopian tubes more accessible to the human eye than her make up ridden coke face turns to the side ever so slightly (her good side of course, lol!)and puts her hand on her hip.

Why do droves and droves of whores do this might you ask? It's simple, they know their slut friend Jenny who has to take 450 pictures each time someone takes a shot of their Bacardi Razz is going to put them in an album on Facebook with a name similar to "The Times We'll Never Remember With the Friends We'll Never Forget!!! Love You girlsies, lolz!" or "BlackOut '09: We Pregame Harder Than You Party!! Whoo!." I'd rather get choked out by Shawn Merriman Tila Tequila style than see another one of these albums again.

What infuriates me the most is that ugly chicks actually think this shit works. Like, people will think you're hotter if your hand is on your hip. Either you're hot, or you're fat and ugly and there's not any amount of cloth or posing that will change this. Putting your hand on your hip in some attempt to look skinnier and sexy isn't going to hide your Krispy Kreme diet. YOU ARE STILL A FAT WHORE THAT NO ONE WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH. Do us all a favor and go to College Pizza, chow down on your X-Large sausage by yourself like you do every Friday and Saturday while your hot roommates go back home with their boyfriends and eat your fat self to death.

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