Monday, May 4, 2009

David Hasselhoff Achieves 1981 George Brett Drunk

The Hoff has set the bar, Mel Gibson. I think it's high time you grab a handle and piss on Hugh Duffy's grave. is reporting miserable lifeguard David Hasselhoff has drank himself under the table. This may or may not be in reaction to Hasselhoff's first round exit in the Best Spring Break Ever bracket. BWP Hollywood reporter Sage Rosenfels is still compiling the details.

"This time the vodka-guzzling “America’s Got Talent” judge registered a staggering .39. alcohol level. Drunk driving in California is 08.

A source said a frightened Hayley kept “slapping her dad’s face” to keep him alive. “He was barely breathing when they got him at the hospital."

According to my doctor Wikipedia, he was about one shot away from death. Also, according to the chart, he probably peed himself. The Germans sure know how to pick their idols. At least he is good with animals. Someone get this man some Wendy's!

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