Monday, May 4, 2009

Boston @ New York Rain Delay

9:27: Alright, it's go time. I'm in it for the long haul. I've managed to keep this going waiting for the game to start, might as well do what I set out to do in the first place. So ends the Rain Delay live blog. Thanks to Chet for sticking it out. The players: Red Sox and Yankees, with occasional Jack Bauer during commercials. Investors: possibly you!

9:19: Note: Robert Tippet sounds nothing like a dog breed.

9:17: This is bullshit. I wait around for 2 hours, and all of a sudden everything is awesome all at once. First pitch coming, Caps game is tied, and 24 is on. I'm very envious of Rob and his 3 TV living room set up.

9:15: "OMG ITZ R HOUSE!" Kill yourself.

9:13: When I think Hockey, I think Chipotle.

9:12: That Asian guy.

9:06: I have no idea what's going on. The Caps are in red, right?

9:02: Is that Wendy's sign supposed to be glowing? Hockey got high tech. What's next, a blue dot that follows the puck around?

8:57: I loved Ray Allen's work as Froggy in Pootie Tang.

8:52: Donnie Wahlberg looks too much like Ice-T.

8:48: Oddly enough, I'm rooting for the Magic. I just pretend Redick is Penny Hardaway and it's all good.

8:45: Scratch that last one. I jinxed the shit out of Tallet.

8:44: NBA wins by default, but Tallet and his ambiguous facial hair are working on a no-hitter.

8:43: Explosions in the Sky playing the bumps is by far the best part of the Vs. network.

8:41: Well that was....that was hockey, that's for sure.

8:35: Clusterfuck at the net. Elisha Cuthbert surprisingly not involved.

8:33: Just in time! Steckel with the equalizer before halftime intermission.

8:32: Enough of this inferior baseball. LETS GO CAPS!

8:23: Wigginton hurts his own cause by scoring a run. It's anyone's game. Taco Bell, Jack Daniels, Star Trek, Viagra. My daily thought process just played out in commercial form.

8:22: The noise the ump just made on that strike out call is the same noise Colon makes if you startle him while he's eating.

8:21: I've been trying to come up with something to say about Colon for the past two minutes, but I've got nothing. The guy is fucking huge.

8:17: That guy

8:11: Either a guy dressed up like an umpire and sat in the front row, or a member of the crew just said fuck it and posted up. Neither would suprise me. Crazy Canadians. Peter Gammons scoffs at the impressive Blue Jays pitching. "Smoke and Mirrors." Hate hate hate, hate hate hate hate.

8:09: Tallet has very indecisive facial hair.

8:08: Peter Gammons deflects A-Rod criticism by brining up the Ted Williams bat corking. Everything sucks.

8:03: The camera crew in The Bronx apparently has spent the rain delay finding the most hideous people in the stands to show during the bump. And back to more A-Rod talk. It's been almost an hour, I was getting worried.

8:00: I really doubt this game is getting played. Might have to jump ship soon. Waiting until it's official at least.

7:56: David Ross gets the chance to show off that arm the announcers were talking about. The ball bounces 4 feet in front of second. He's got a cannon, alright.

7:52: Even the ump doesn't give a fuck about this game. Shown "relaxing" at third, eating sunflower seeds. Another at-bat is ignored to critique how the ump is eating the seeds. Apparently, he isn't doing it right. Peachtree TV, don't you ever change.

7:50: None of the recipients of the Big Smile seat upgrade looks very happy at all. I think the kids might be on some kind of drugs. An entire at-bat was ignored by the announcer because he wanted to talk about cotton candy. This rain delay needs to end soon...

7:46: Beltran can't scoop up a ball in the outfield. Everything sucks right now. Especially this live blog.

7:43: Mike Cameron runs right in to the wall going after a fly ball. And a nice throw to the dug out by Castillo in the Mets game. Too bad he was aiming for first base. What the hell is going on out there today? This is exactly what happened in Space Jam.

7:31: Jon Lester will be going for the Red Sox if the game is played. He's 1-2 on the year, and 1-0 lifetime versus cancer. Phil Hughes is up for the Yankees. He beat the Tigers earlier this year. Advantage: Lester.

7:27: Two of Rob's fantasy players hit a home run at exactly the same time. There was much rejoicing.

7:25: Adam Jones makes a jumping catch running backwards at a ball that was hit right at him. Awful play, but still looked better than Upton who apparently forgot how to walk.

7:20: Felony drug chargers for Chamberlin's mom? I'm not touching that one.

7:19: Ty Wigginton claims he really likes hitting in this ball park. He shows this with two of the worst swings I have ever seen. The Clipped Wing Award is his to lose.

7:13: I stand corrected. 3 run bomb to a very empty right-center field for Markakis.

7:11: Watching the Baseball Tonight makeshift broadcast is like watching an episode of Blind Date at 2:30 am. Bonus coverage goes to the O's and Rays. Baltimore now has the pleasure of being beaten in front of a national audience.

7:08: A-Rod is putting up some Adam Dunn-esque numbers down in Clearwater. 1-6 with a "very long" Home Run. Fuck him right in the ear.

7:05: Papa John has a laser rocket arm. Who knew? The Vikings should look into this...

7:03: The game might get rained out. Oh well, maybe they'll switch over the Steve Harvey Show.

6:59: My beloved Red Sox are making their first visit to the new Yankee Stadium. Thus, a live blog. By the way, does anyone else find it weird that these financial problems started about the same time they started building this stadium? I'm just sayin.


  1. Fratkakis made you eat your words john

  2. Yeah, but at least Wigginton had my back.

  3. there goes the no hitter john, you jinxed it

  4. keep it going john. wheres the dedication?