Donte Stallworth has been charged with man's laughter for allowing his Bentley to be hit by a pedestrian while he was just trying to go for a drunken joy ride. At least now I can finally resist the urge to waste a fantasy pick on him. Donte, I thank you. Though he is facing up to 15 years in prison, things aren't all bad for Stallworth. He recently advanced to the Sheboygan Regional Finals in the Best Spring Break Ever bracket. So he's got that going for him...which is nice.
Speaking of the Best Spring Break Ever, Pope Paul XII made short work of fictional character Habib Marwan, and Karl Malone edged out a first round upset of Rinaldo. One more Region to go! The Reykjavik Region is my favorite of the four regions. The Cops who beat Rodney King face off against the Leprechaun from Alabama to decide who has been more detrimental to African-American culture. Cedric Benson and Mike Schmidt round out the region with a battle of boat antics. Benson got tazed, Schmidt got blazed. Let's do it.