Wednesday, April 15, 2009
NFL Announces the Future Super Bowl Champs Schedule
The Ravens 2009 schedule was announced yesterday, and you can't really complain when you get to play Oakland, Detroit, Kansas Shitty (boom boom ching, tip your bartender, I'll be here all night!), Cincy, and Cleveland twice all the in same season. That's seven wins right there, and most of the rest are very winnable. Here are five games to mark on your Guatemalan midget hooker calender:
1.Sunday Oct. 4 1:00pm Baltimore @ New England- It's always a good game when we play them, and this could be the match up that shows if Tom Brady is fully recovered from his 15 honeymoons he took with Giselle this off season while "rehabbing" his knee.
2.Sunday Nov. 22 1:00 pm Indianapolis @ Baltimore- I swear to God, if we don't fucking beat them this year, I'm going to stab myself in the dick. I don't really consider last years beat down we took a real game, because we had the school for the deaf dumb and blind play secondary, but we have to shake this losing streak to them, and I think this is the year (now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go throw up)
3.Sunday Nov. 29 8:20pm Pittsburgh @ Baltimore- I'm pretty sure I will have to drink myself into a coma before this game, or else I won't be able to take it (note: how on Earth did I ever not commit suicide during Raven's games before I started drinking? I must have been an absolute emotional wreck when I was 12 sitting at PSINET Stadium watching 6-3 games each week). It's nice the NFL decided to have a prime time game for us against Pittsburgh actually at Baltimore for a change, because it was getting kind of ridiculous).
4. Monday Dec. 7 8:30pm Baltimore @ Green Bay- Theres just something about watching a game played at Lambeau Field late in the year when you can see Joe Unibrow Flacco's breath that just says, God I love football! I have always wanted to make the trip to Green Bay to see a game, and I think this just might be the best time to do it.
5. Sunday Dec. 27 1:00pm Baltimore @ Pittsburgh- Will more than likely decide the division, and decide if I become more depressed and disappointed than Lindsay Lohan's parents.