Thursday, April 2, 2009

Jay Cutler Makes Me Smile

We've all seen some peculiar break-ups in high school, but this is getting ridiculous.

I remember when me niece was young. I was eating some Oreos and offered her one. She refused, then whined to my sister that I didn't give her any. I then offered her some Oreos a second time, and she still declined. She was 6 years old.

Feb. 28th- Broncos consider trading Cutler in the Matt Casell "sweepstakes."

March 15- Cutler is upset about the Broncos trying to trade him, demands trade to somehow prove his point. (?)

March 31- Cutler falls off the face of the Earth, Broncos decide to give in to his trade request. (??)

Just so we're clear....the Broncos entertained trade offers. Cutler was upset about the Broncos considering a trade, and countered with a trade demand. Watching ESPN try and report on this professionally without asking the obvious "what the fuck?" was priceless. It was on the tip of their tongue, like sports equivalent of the moments leading up to Kanye's "George Bush doesn't care about black people," but it lasted for days. The Broncos then acknowledged their error? of trying to trade Cutler, and decided to give in to his trade demands. Awesome. I feel like this situation belongs in an episode of The Simpsons....

"Homer: Yellow?
Lisa: Dad?
Homer: Who is this?
Lisa: It's Lisa! I just called to tell you how much I love you and can I
take the bus to the museum?
Homer: Museum? I don't like the sound of that... what did your mother say?
Lisa: Umm, I wasn't one hundred percent clear on that. She said something,
but she was kind of in a rush to get Bart to the emergency room.
Homer: Hmmm, so you wanna take the bus, huh? I don't know, that's a pretty
big decision.
Lisa: Well, if it would put your mind at ease I could take a limousine. But
that would cost $200.
Homer: $200?! Ohh, isn't there any other way?
Lisa: Hmmm, I guess I could take the bus if you think that's a better idea.
Homer: Frankly, I do. I know you had your heart set on the limo but sometimes
daddy's have to say no, honey! I'm afraid you're gonna have to take the
Lisa: [fakely sad] Alright.
Homer: Atta girl, I love you s--"

Jay Cutler, Broncos, don't you ever change.

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