Tuesday, April 7, 2009

A $423 Million Off Season Buys You a Turd Sandwich Opening Day



In front of the largest opening day crowd in Oriole's history, Jeremy Guthrie pitched like he should be making $23 million a year, and the O's cruised past the Yankees 10-5. Cesar Izturis hit a two run home run in the bottom of the 8th to put him on pace for 162 this year and all but end the game.

CC Sabathia pitched like it was a playoff series and just completely shat the bed. Mark "Virgin" Teixeira got booed like he was Hitler at a Bat Mitzvahs. A-Rod kisses mirrors and has shitty hips. Overall it was an awesome day. But I gotta be honest, I really thought the O's were going to get destroyed yesterday, but then I forgot...that something magic happens every time you go, you make the magic happen, and that's the magic of Orioles baseball. Which comforted me.

The Orioles thought there was too much magic for back to back games, so we don't get to see them dismantle the Ted Dibiase All-Stars until Wednesday. Chien-Ming Wang from Taiwan goes against the most solid no. 2 pitcher in baseball (I can't even keep a straight face saying that) Koji Uehara from Japan in a battle that Asia hasn't seen since the Tom Cruise defeated Japan in The Last Samurai.

For the box score from yesterday's game, go here.

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