Thursday, March 26, 2009

This is Why the Ukraine Sucks

Ukraine (AP) --

Hundreds of angry Kiev residents on Thursday picketed the office of the city's increasingly unpopular mayor, an eccentric millionaire who sings at rallies, poses in Speedos to show off his good health and goes by the nickname Cosmos.

Angered by major price hikes for public transport, utilities and medical care, the protesters demanded that mayor Leonid Chernovetsky resign.

But so far the 57-year-old has proved highly resilient, despite widespread accusations of corruption and erratic behavior often bordering on the absurd.

He survived an early vote last year that was initiated by Ukraine's parliament in an attempt to unseat him. He is now fending off an investigation over controversial sales of city land and even a parliamentary inquiry into whether he is mentally fit to hold office.

Eager to demonstrate he is of sound body and mind, he invited journalists to watch him earlier this month jogging, doing chin-ups and diving into a swimming pool in his tight Speedo suit.

"They are judging me today," Chernovetsky said, after he emerged from the water and flexed his muscles in front of the cameras. "They want me to spend my whole life behind bars in a psychiatric ward. I want to demonstrate to the whole world that I am completely healthy, both physically and psychologically."

Chernovetsky says his nickname is derived from his policies, which are "cosmic" and "completely unusual for Ukraine."

"I am proud that they don't resemble anything that went on in Ukraine before," he said on a talk show last year.

Chernovetsky was elected Kiev mayor in 2006 in a surprise win over the capital's incumbent mayor and boxing heavyweight champion Vitaly Klitschko.

His critics charge he won the race through questionable tactics such as donating pasta, sugar and other food to Kiev's impoverished pensioners. He was re-elected last May, largely due to his opponents' failure to unite behind a single candidate.

Chernovetsky has acknowledged on national television that he had given bribes worth $21 million when he was a businessman in the early 1990s. But he denies bribing his voters, calling himself "the humble mayor who loves babushkas."

In an effort to increase city revenues, he has proposed charging foreigners to live here, selling his kisses in a lottery and introducing entry fees for visits to city cemeteries. He has also started holding $100,000 dinners for entrepreneurs interested in discussing their affairs with city authorities.

This is the type of mayor I want running my city. Sure the corruption and shady business dealings might be a little annoying, but the man beat Klitschko in fucking election for Christs sakes. How can you not love a guy who is just absolutely horrible at his job and just laughs right in your face about it and flexes his muscles a few times for the camera just to make sure you know he doesn't give a fuck. I guess this is how Lions fans felt with Matt Millen showing his fat ass on TV every 14 seconds when his team is led by 13 first round receivers and Dan Orlovsky.

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