Donte Stallworth just killed a man.
I just hope that guy didn't dent the Bentley. That thing has to be worth more than that 49 year old man's life. Unless that 49 year old man was Ellen DeGeneres. In which case, it's par for the course. That has to be the ultimate trump card for Spring Break stories, though.
"Dude, I was so fuckin wrecked. You don't even know. I was on MTV puking my face off during a Lady GaGa performance, then kicked Goober in the face for slaying a Wild Snorlax!"
"....I saw Donte Stallworth kill a man."
Ok, we now have a dark horse bracket buster for Best Spring Break Story Ever
"Dude, I was throwing sacks of game at this bitch in a bar, when all of a sudden, former WWE superstar Andrew "Test" Martin rolls up and was like "Hey bud, let's party!" It was boss, brah!"
Speaking of brackets, Maryland Duke just started.
Meaningless Prediction: Maryland 67 - Duke 65, with Maryland surviving a late surge of 3 counts of rape by Duke in the closing seconds.