Friday, February 20, 2009

We're Aren't Experts: The NL East

Ed. note: This is the third installment of BWP's baseball season preview, where we'll be breaking down all six or so divisions in baseball, one of which we know anything about.

In case you missed the first two, here's John's take on the AL East. And here's Rob on the NL Central. This is John on the NL East.

The AL East's red-headed step child...except it hits back. The Phillies are reigning champions, and yet Delaware is the only state that really seems to care anymore since Kurt Warner shat in his own pillow case and gave the Super Bowl to the Steelers. Anyone else think that Jesus is cheating on his number 1 fan with the younger, Jesuser Tim Teabow? Alright lets look at the Phillies and whoever else makes up this wretched division.

Philadelphia

Reigning champs, best team ever blah, blah, blah. They are a very good team. Utley and Howard with the bats, Myers and Hammels with the heat, and Katie Couric with the CBS Evening News. The weakest link has to be their bullpen, but no bullpen in this division holds a candle to...

New York


The Boston Strangler is the Mets' biggest fan. What? Like you have a better joke about choking? Fuck yourself. It really doesn't matter who is on the Mets' roster this year, as their bullpen will inevitably blow the season. Big shout out to David Wright, though. He is a big fan of Virginia Tech, and thus by extension, this blog. BWP would like to thank David Wright for this continuing support of our material. Can we get our money now?

Atlanta


There's a surprising number of Canadians on this team, which has to count for something. Last year, Atlanta was the site of the All-Star game, which is not to say this is a city of all-stars. Atlanta's numbers were sub-par last year, amounting to only 34 wins and a bizarre 8 overtime losses, which I'm assuming means extra innings losses. It didn't help that the Braves only participated in 82 games, either. Look for the Braves to actually complete a full MLB season this year, lead by their Captain, Ilya Kovalchuk.

Florida


Just a bad franchise, but they have won more World Series this century than the Yankees, so they are good in my book. Still, 2/3 of the top 3 NL Rookie of the Year vote getters, Dan Uggla and Hanley Ramirez, are on this roster. Too bad the Marlins have been trying this whole looking forward to the future thing for years now. They are the Dippin' Dots of baseball.

Washington


I went to a Nat's game with Rob last year. The first pitch of the game was a home run for the Marlins. The Nationals lost that game pretty badly. They have a nice stadium, though. Except when you leave in you're in the middle of Sowf Eest. Nothing good can be said about this team except for "Zimmerman."

Predictions (nothing more than guesses)

Philadelphia- 93-69
New York- 87-75
Florida- 81-81
Atlanta- 28-46-12
Washington- 0-185

2 comments:

  1. Washington gets penalized 3 games for sucking?

    ReplyDelete
  2. no that's them getting swept in the first round of the playoffs

    ReplyDelete