Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Real Reality: Still Fake

When did "Survivor" debut? Like 10 years ago? It was such a novelty back then. The idea of a "reality show" competition where we bring in real people--crazy, dirty and stupid, just like us!--and offer them some fabulous prize for some series of retarded tasks.

Now here we are, somehow close to the end of this horrible decade, and the concept has become as common as the stock market crashing or a hippie yelling at me about needing to conserve energy. And no one cares any more.

I think we've just taken it too far at this point. I was flipping around channels just now and stumbled upon RuPaul's Drag Race. This is a show, hosted by RuPaul, which is trying to find the best drag queen in America (complete with drag-race theme). You take your time with this paragraph. Re-read it if you need to. I'll wait.

Yes, that's a half hour Vh1 has devoted to RuPaul finding the "best" drag queen. Exactly how do you be a "good" drag queen? Is there a BCS for drag queens? I think the best drag queens would be women. It's like, they're so good at being drag queens, that they're not even men.

But I digress. On top of that, there's a whole slew of ridiculous reality programming nowadays and we've just given in and allowed this to happen. "True Beauty" on ABC, what a crap fest that is. They think they're there to model, but really they're being judged on INNER beauty! Who cares about this? What's the moral of the story, that good-looking people are assholes? Of course we are, how is this worth an hour in primetime?

Vh1, of course, is leading the charge into global stupidity. On top of "Drag Race," they show horrible displays of the decline of mankind's prosperity on this planet such as "For the love of Ray J" (where each girl on the show claims the others are all "gold-digging bitches that's not really here for Ray") and the sign that they're giving up on coming up with new ideas altogether, "I Love Money." Literally, it's a reality show about nothing. It's the Seinfeld of reality shows. And I mean this in the worst way possible.

Actually, that's not the show that's on now. You ready for it? "I Love Money... 2." That's right. This has lasted more than one season. "Freaks and Geeks" only lasted for one season. Now try to tell me there's a God.

Which brings us to the endgame: MTV's new series, "College Life." The tagline promises: "Not reality. Real." Despite the obvious white flag waving that reality shows are just preposterous, they're claiming that this next generation is going to be different. Spoiler alert: It's not.

Basically on this show they've given cameras to four college freshmen and had them film their own lives. So there's your solution to quality programming: Hand the reins over to 18-year-old kids and have them film themselves getting drunk. Wonderful.

If this show opens anyone's eyes about anything, I will eat a box full of lit matches. It's just going to be people playing beer pong, doing homework, going to bars, some drama, and that's about it. I'm sorry, but even the interesting parts of college aren't television-worthy. Improving yourself, making friends, hanging out, partying--who cares? Who tunes in to see this crap?

More likely than not, they're going to spice it up and make it seem like college is this ridiculous fantasyworld. In other words, they're going to make it like every other reality show.

Which is to say, fake.


  1. Survivor has been on for 18 seasons.

  2. i dont know which blogs are worse, glod daddy's or robs

  3. No way 18 seasons??

    And i completely agree with you about Vh1.

    If I ever need reassurance that there is no point in having faith in humanity anymore I turn on Vh1 for an hour.