Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Hating: The Grammys

I am a bigger fan of Blink 182 than you are.

Now that we got that out of the way, you can imagine my excitement after hearing (reading?) the news that Blink would be appearing together at the 51st Grammy Awards. The prospect of a reunion was teasing at my nips, so I had no choice but to watch the Grammys. I decided that it couldn't be all bad...I'd get to see what this Blink appearance was all about, and hey! it might even be as enjoyable a shit show as Rob's 20th birthday. I love being right.

The fun all started at the pre-show party, where Chris Brown laid down a new beat on Rihanna, presumably for cutting her hair like Duke Nukem. Or for being ugly. Wow, I really pine for the day I can beat my girlfriend in my Lamborghini.....what? Chris Brown is younger than I am?.....let's move on.

Here's a fun fact about the Grammys: Stevie Wonder has won album of the year 3 times, and is the most decorated solo artist in Grammy history. And I can see why. What better way to honor the Grammys all time champion? Why, using a vocalizer in a collaboration with the Jonas brothers of course! Blink 182 made an entrance immediately following this performance, however, keeping the 18-32 demographic from shooting themselves in the face.

And then came the announcement. Blink 182 was to reform. And there was much rejoicing....no, wait. Actually, the place sounded like the auditorium after Tippy "Tipsy" Martinez gave his famous "don't drink on prom night" speech. A few people cheered, the majority poked the people next to them asking who was up on the stage.

I'm going to skip my laments about the reaction, and cut to the problem with the delivery. The Grammys awarded the Beatles with but one Album of the Year recognition (Sgt. Pepper at that, an album that even John Lennon said only had one good song it, referring to A Day in the Life), which ties them with the "O Brother Where Art Thou" soundtrack. If it's not pop, if it's not mindless, if you don't hear the songs at the dentist, or at every party you attend, it's not worth the Grammys attention. (Side note: Swagger Like Us? A way-too-fucking-pregnant-not-attractive-in-the-first-place-M.I.A? Really? Nobody else could say "swagger like us" a few times? Lil' [sic] Wayne was good though, except it was only his second best performance of the past few days, following his perplexing appearance on Around the Horn)

How is this the proper forum for Blink to announce their reincarnation? Everyone's mom watched the Grammys and complained about the drummer for Paul McCartney not being Ringo. Not the proper forum.

But what would be the proper forum? The internet. Which they did do, by announcing it on their site the same day. And if you didn't check their site, then someone else did and posted it on another site. And if you didn't check that site, someone else did and posted it on another site. And, if you didn't catch any of this endless chain, you watched the Grammys like me and hate music more because of it. I suppose the internet is the way to go....hmmm...

The best thing to happen during this award ceremony was the premier of "How's Your News" on MTV. Mentally challenged people interviewing strangers and celebrities. From the creators of South Park. Awesome. Good fight, goodnight.

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